Question 1,

From what animal is Spam made?

A, Sheep

B, Pigs

C, Llamas

D, Elephants

Well most Spam is made from pigs but the Fintastique Corporation is always ready to exploit new markets and not to exclude any major world religions so we make our Spam from Llamas hence our slogan "Mmmm Lovely Llama".

Question 2,

If a train leaves London at 8am and another train leaves Paris at 8am which train will reach the tin of Spam tied to the rails exactly halfway between the two cities?

A, The British train.

B, The French train.

C, A Belgian train that got lost.

D, Neither train somebody will pinch it.

Well of course everyone knows that French trains travel a damn sight faster than their British counterparts and when it is 8am in Paris it will be 7am in London so Le train should get their first providing nobody conducts a controlled explosion on the poor tin.

Question 3,

If the universe is infinite and God is omnipotent, what goes best with Spam in a sandwich?

A, Peanut butter

B, Marmite

C, Butter

D, Maple syrup

The only volunteer I could find to taste these tempting culinary delights was a Vietnamese pot bellied pig and she definitely preferred Spam and Maple Syrup (good job it was Llama meat). 

Question 4,

The tie breaker, complete the sentence

"I love Spam because…." In less than 20 words

Please e-mail your answers to

real_spam@yahoo.com

The closing date is the 30^th of September.

Well the closing date has been and gone and not a single entry, well that is the unofficial story. The official story is that a shipwrecked round the world yachts man used the last power in his laptop and satellite phone to send his entry from somewhere in the South Pacific. His answers were Pigs, French and Butter which are acceptable and I especially liked his tiebreaker "I love Spam because I'm bloody starving to death, you smug bastard".

I had originally budgeted £3 to cover Spam and postage but the combined air/sea search and rescue operation to find the lucky bastard will cost at least £300,000 so that's the last competition I'm running.

1. Entrants must be 8 years or older and must genuinely like Spam.

2. Any relatives or employees of Fintastique will not be allowed to win.

3. The judge's decision is final unless you really make a fuss.